


seventeen

by Whyyyyy



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27515647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyyyyy/pseuds/Whyyyyy
Summary: After J.D's death, Veronica just wants to live out the last of her high school experience in peace. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans.
Relationships: Heather McNamara/Veronica Sawyer, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 15
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i've had this idea for a while and i tried to write a fic about it a few months ago, but then i got kinda bored with it so i deleted it. this is my second attempt. trigger warnings for... well, it's heathers. so basically everything.

The first time Veronica felt it was when J.D shot Ram. As her boyfriend ran off after Kurt, Veronica approached Ram's crumpled form. 

"Ram?" she whispered, nudging him with her shoe. Then louder, "You're just unconscious, right Ram?" She leaned over, grabbed his shoulder, and flipped him over, dread squeezing painfully at her stomach. "Ram!"

Then she saw the blood. So, so much blood. Everywhere. Soaking Ram's clothes, staining her hands as she frantically felt for a pulse, already knowing she wouldn't find one. 

That was when it hit. A wave of nausea so strong that she doubled over, barely missing Ram's body as her lunch made it's reappearance.

"Lovely," Heather Chandler appeared in front of her, arms folded. "God, Veronica, why do you always have to make a scene?"

"Yeah, Ronicaaa, God," a voice whined, and to Veronica's horror, Ram and Kurt's ghostly forms materialized beside Heather. 

"Veronica? You okay?" A hand gripped her shoulder, startling her. The ghosts vanished. Spitting into the grass, she whirled around, knocking J.D's hand away.

"What the _fuck_ have you done?"

J.D gazed at her calmly. "What was necessary."

"What was _necessary?_ You killed them!" Veronica felt wetness on her cheeks, realizing with a start that she was crying. J.D noticed too, and for a brief moment his face softened. Then the flicker of emotion was gone.

"You wanted them dead, admit it. They were assholes."

Veronica gaped at him, the taste of vomit strong in her mouth. "Yeah, they were assholes, but I didn't want them dead!"

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did too."

"Did- you know what, it doesn't matter." Veronica shook her head. "What are we gonna do?"

J.D held out a hand, and Veronica reluctantly took it. "Everything's gonna be fine. I promise." He pulled her close. "Our love is God, baby. Come on, say it with me."

"Our love is God," Veronica mumbled against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and Veronica leaned into him, knowing deep down that this wasn't right but too scared to argue. 

* * *

J.D was lying, of course. Everything was not going to be fine. After Kurt and Ram's deaths, the nausea Veronica had felt in the graveyard became a constant presence in her life. It was like the weight of the secrets she was carrying was taking it's toll on her body. By the time she stood in front of the school, watching J.D drag himself away from her, the bomb strapped to his chest, the churning in her gut had become almost normal. 

Fast forward to two weeks after J.D's death. Veronica was sitting with Heather McNamara in her basement. _The Princess Bride_ was playing softly on the TV, and they were passing a bowl of popcorn back and forth.

"Ronnie? Are you okay?"

Veronica's eyes were closed, a hand over her stomach. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a little nauseous is all. This happens."

Heather's brow knitted into a frown. "Okay. Do you need anything?"

"It'll pass," Veronica assured her, but as she said it she felt another wave hit her. The popcorn bowl fell to the floor as she jumped up from the couch and ran for the bathroom, making it just in time to puke into the toilet. As she heaved, she felt a cool hand press against her back. Heather rubbed her back with one hand, using the other to tie back Veronica's hair. Veronica spit a couple times, then sat back on her heels. "Sorry," she muttered as Heather began filling a cup with water from the tap.

"Don't apologize," Heather admonished as she handed Veronica the cup. Veronica accepted it and drank from it gratefully.

"So," Heather said when she finished. "Wanna tell me what's going on?"

Veronica closed her eyes. "I don't know. This has been happening since Ram and Kurt died. I think it's some trauma-induced sickness. I feel nauseous a lot, especially when I see certain foods, and I get some, like, weird aches and stuff."

Heather bit her lip. "Ronnie?"

"Yeah?"

"When was the last time you had your period?"

Veronica's eyes widened as she realized what Heather was getting at. "Oh, Mac, no, that's not - I'm not..."

Heather locked eyes with Veronica. "Are you sure?"

"I'm on birth control."

"Have you been taking it?"

Veronica broke eye contact. "Honestly? Not very consistently."

"What about the night you slept with J.D? Did you take it then?"

Veronica covered her face with her hands. "I don't know." Then, remembering something, she lifted up her head again. "Wait! We used a condom."

"Condoms break, Ronnie."

Veronica gazed at her miserably. "I haven't had my period since I slept with him, Mac."

Heather scooted closer to her friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Veronica leaned her head on Mac's shoulder, letting the tears she'd been holding back spill onto the other girl's blazer. Behind them, the ghosts of Heather Chandler and the jocks flickered into view. 

"Shame," Chandler murmured to the jocks, who gave no response. Glancing over at them, she saw that they had each other in headlocks, shouting something about which one of them was hotter. Chandler rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I'm stuck in the afterlife with you buffoons," she muttered. She watched with mild interest as Veronica lifted her head from Mac's shoulder, wiping the last of her tears away.

"It's going to be okay, Ronnie," Heather whispered, cupping Veronica's face with her hands. "I'm here for you. And Martha will be too, when we tell her."

"We don't even know for sure if there's something to tell," Veronica mumbled.

Heather nodded. "We'll find out for sure. But no matter what, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Veronica nodded miserably, and Heather gave her a small smile.

Chandler let out a low breath. "Wow, that's gay."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the waitress references are incredibly strong in this one

"I can't do it." Veronica pushed Heather's hand away. "I don't want to know."

Heather sighed. "I know, Ronnie, but you have to. Just... focus on the negative, alright?"

"We'll be right here with you the whole time, okay?" Martha added.

Heather held out her hand again, the pregnancy test sitting innocently in her palm. "Stick and a line, that's all there is to it."

Veronica shook her head. "There's so much more to it and you know it."

"Maybe, but you still have to know for sure." Martha placed a hand on her shoulder.

Veronica groaned, reluctantly taking the stick out of Heather's palm and disappearing into the bathroom. "How did I get into this mess?" 

Heather smiled sadly, leaning against the door. "Well, hon, you fucked a psychopath. But it'll be okay, I promise."

"You don't know that."

Heather sighed and looked at Martha, who shook her head as if to say _she's got a point._

The door swung open. Veronica's face was ashen. "I'm so scared," she whispered.

"The negative, Ronnie. Focus on the negative."

"You know that the probability of it being negative is incredibly small, right?"

Martha wrapped an arm around Veronica's shoulders. "You shouldn't worry about it until you know for sure. That would just be a waste of time."

Veronica leaned her head against her friend's shoulder. 

From inside the bathroom, a sharp bell-sounding noise rang out.

"This is it, Vera," Heather said softly. Veronica swallowed down a wave of nausea that for once had nothing to do with health. Heather and Martha waited silently while Veronica picked up the test and flipped it over. There was a long pause as Veronica processed the information. Then, with a sudden burst of confidence, Veronica tossed the test into the trash and turned to her friends, a big, fake smile plastered on her face.

"Shit!" she said brightly.

* * *

"Veronica, stop moping around. It's making the rest of us sad."

Veronica glared up at the ghost of Heather Chandler from her spot on the bed. "Good to know you have feelings."

Heather examined her nails. "I don't. You're demeanor is just that depressing."

"Forgive me for being upset that I'm pregnant at seventeen years old!" Veronica hissed, lowering her voice and glancing around furtively, as if her parents had somehow materialized in her bedroom without her noticing.

Ram and Kurt appeared beside Heather. "Such a slut, Veronica," Kurt purred.

Veronica flipped him off. "Fuck off, asshole." The boys vanished.

Heather sighed. "The afterlife was much more pleasant before your idiot boyfriend had to go and murder those dickheads."

"Yeah, well, trust me, no one regrets that more than I do."

Heather smirked. "You're going to be such a funny mom. 'Teach peace, not war!' 'Don't kill your friends!'"

Veronica buried her face in her hands. “What am I gonna do, Heather? I’m a traumatized murderer who gets advice from figments of my imagination!” She looked up at Heather through her fingers. “That is what you are, aren’t you?”

Heather didn’t answer. Instead, she sat gingerly down on Veronica’s bed. “You know you don’t have to keep the baby, right?”

Veronica leaned back on her pillows. “Yeah. I don’t know, though... it’s just to much to process. And I don't even know how I'm gonna tell my parents."

"'Hey, Mom and Dad, remember that psycho who exploded all over the football field? His devil-spawn is growing inside of me.'"

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that'll go over well."

"Veronica. Your parents are incredibly kind people. Like, disgustingly kind. They'll understand, I promise."

Veronica looked skeptical. "They'll understand that I forgot to take my birth control for like a week straight and then fucked a murderer? Even my parents aren't that cool."

"You're being too hard on yourself."

"I must be at a real low point if Heather Chandler is comforting me," Veronica muttered.

Heather looked offended. "I can be nice sometimes!"

"You know Mac almost killed herself because of you, right?" 

Heather looked away. "Yeah. I know." she picked at a loose thread on Veronica's bedspread. "I wish I could apologize to her. She doesn't see me like you do, though."

Veronica squinted at her. "So, like, what's your deal? Am I making you up, or are you actually a ghost?"

Heather shrugged. "Who's to say?"

"Shouldn't you know?"

"I don't know anything anymore."

Veronica considered the girl in front of her. Heather had always carried herself with such poise. Nothing seemed to faze her. But now, she just looked... tired. Her usually perfectly pressed blazer was wrinkled, and her stockings were ripped in several places. 

"Are you in love with her?" Heather asked, startling Veronica back to the present.

"What?"

"Mac, do you love her?"

Veronica opened her mouth, then closed it again. "I don't know," she sighed after a long minute. "Maybe."

Heather nodded slowly. "But you don't want to commit to anything because you don't think you deserve her. Right?"

Veronica closed her eyes. "Yeah. She's... I'm a murderer, Heather. She doesn't need that." she opened her eyes and glanced at Heather, who was looking at her with an odd expression on her face.

"What?"

"Nothing," Heather gave herself a little shake. "I... I'm gonna go."

Veronica frowned and started to speak, but Heather was already gone. Veronica sat there for a long time, gazing at the spot where her ghost had disappeared, wondering just how crazy she was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for heathers, as usual, plus some abortion talk

"I'm pregnant." Veronica squeezed her eyes shut as she said the words, realizing as she did that this was the first time she'd said them aloud. Why was it always the two word sentences that were the hardest to say? Three syllables for 'I'm pregnant'. Five for 'I'm bisexual'. By all means, those sort of sentences should be simple. A two-word confession. And really, the problem wasn't the words. It was everything that came with them.

Veronica opened her eyes. Her parents were sitting on the couch in front of her, looking shell-shocked, but not necessarily angry, which was something, at least.

"You're pregnant," Veronica's mother repeated slowly. "Okay. Okay." She glanced at her husband. "Dear?"

"Your... your friend J.D.," Mr. Sawyer leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and running a hand through his hair. "He's..."

"Yes," Veronica said quickly, not wanting to hear the end of the sentence spoken out loud. 

Her father nodded. "Okay." he and Mrs. Sawyer glanced at each other again.

"So, what do you want to do?"

Veronica blinked. "That's it? You're not mad or anything?"

Mrs. Sawyer smiled. "Of course not. It's not your fault."

Veronica collapsed into a chair, relieved. "Thank God."

"You didn't really think we'd kick you out or anything, did you?"

Veronica shrugged. "I mean, I didn't think you'd be thrilled to hear it."

"And we're not," Mrs. Sawyer said, "But there's no point in grumbling about it. The best thing to do is move forward and figure out what we want to happen."

Veronica nodded. "I don't want an abortion. I mean, not that it's bad or anything, just..." _I couldn't be responsible for taking another life_ , she thought, but didn't say aloud.

"That's fine, honey. Does that mean you want to keep the child?"

Veronica pressed a hand to her stomach. "I don't know. I've been thinking about adoption, but I haven't decided yet."

Mrs. Sawyer took her daughter's hand. "You don't have to decide now. But we're behind, you, whatever you decide."

"Thanks, Mom." Veronica gave her mother a hug. Behind Mrs. Sawyer's head, Heather Chandler flickered into view. 

_Told you so_ , she mouthed.

* * *

"So you told your parents?" Mac asked. She, Martha and Veronica were sitting cross-legged on Martha's bed. "And they're okay with it?"

Veronica nodded. "Yeah. It was such a relief, honestly. I mean, Heather did say-" Veronica stopped abruptly, realizing her mistake. "You," she pointed at Heather McNamara, trying to play it off. "You said it would be okay, but I guess I didn't really believe you until my parents told me the same thing."

Mac gave her an odd look but didn't push it. 

"Well I'm glad you're feeling better," Martha squeezed Veronica's knee. 

"Yeah," Veronica said distractedly, still rattled from her faux-pas. "Yeah. Me too."

Heather squinted at her. "Are you? Feeling better? You seem... off."

"Yeah. I'm fine." Veronica waved off her friends' concern. "It's just a lot, you know? And meanwhile, I still haven't had time to fully process everything with J.D..."

The other girls nodded solemnly. Veronica had told them the basics of everything that had gone down - she figured they deserved to know.

"You know Heather Duke is moving?" Heather said suddenly. 

"Really?" Martha frowned. "Where?"

"I don't know, somewhere near Seattle, I think?"

Veronica snorted ruefully, remembering her wish of changing her name and moving to Seattle the night of Heather's party - the night when everything had gone horribly, irrevocably wrong. It figured that Duke would steal that idea from her. She'd never been known for her originality. "We should send a letter of apology to the people of Seattle," Veronica murmured.

Heather laughed. "'She's your problem now. Sorry we dumped her on you.'"

Martha bit her lip. "Come on, guys, don't be mean."

"Not like she's ever shied away from being mean to us," Heather pointed out.

"Still."

Veronica sighed. "Honestly, I'm kinda jealous of her. I'd love to get out of Westerburg."

Heather smiled sadly. "Wouldn't we all."

* * *

Heather drove Veronica home that night. Neither of them spoke during the drive. That was one of the things Veronica liked about Mac - silences were never awkward with her. There was never any pressure to speak.

Heather pulled into Veronica's driveway. "Your chariot has arrived, ma'am."

Veronica smiled at her. "Thanks, Mac."

Heather gave her a long, searching look, then smiled back. Veronica started to open her car door, but Mac spoke before she got all the way out. "I like that you call me that, by the way."

Veronica let the door fall shut again, looking back at Heather. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. No one else has ever given me a nickname before."

"Not even the other Heathers? That must have gotten confusing."

Heather chuckled darkly. "Yeah, a little, I guess. But that was our brand. Heather, Heather, and Heather. Would've been a bad look if we didn't call each other those names. And it didn't matter that much to anyone else. As far as they were concerned, we were interchangeable. Three shiny, perfect little toys. Different colors, same thing."

Veronica took her friend's hand. "I'm sorry."

Heather sighed. "Yeah. Well. Point is, no one else has ever seen me as my own person. Or... human, even. But you do." She looked over at Veronica. "I know you think you're some, like, fucked-up murder bitch or something, but... you're a good person, Ronnie. I promise."

Veronica took this in. "Mac, I... I'm not..."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Just shut up about you, for like, two seconds." She leaned over and kissed Veronica firmly on the mouth. And after the initial shock wore off, Veronica was kissing her back, and for about thirty seconds she allowed herself to want this. But then the doubts came flooding back in, and she pulled away.

"Mac, I can't."

Heather regarded her skeptically. "Why not?"

"Because you deserve better."

Mac sighed impatiently. "Were you listening to anything I just said?"

"Yes, I was. And you made some good points, but-"

"But what? Ronnie-"

"No, Mac, you don't understand." Veronica closed her eyes. "Let's just assume for a minute that you're right and I'm not a horrible person. Like it or not, I still fell in love with a psychopath and was at least partly responsible for the death of said psychopath, as well as the deaths of three other people! And now I'm pregnant, and..." Veronica swallowed. "I'm a mess, Mac. I need _years_ of therapy to even begin to become a functioning human again. So really, how _good_ I am doesn't even matter, because I have way too much baggage _._ "

Heather thought about this for a moment, gazing up at Veronica's house, stretching into the twilit sky. "Veronica," she began. Veronica shook her head and tried to get out of the car, but Heather reached over and locked the doors. "Just, listen to me for a sec, okay?" Veronica nodded reluctantly. "Thank you. Now, I know your life is really complicated right now. And yes, I'm aware that you have a lot of issues. But I am still, inexplicably, in love with you. Now answer me this; do you want this?" she gestured between herself and Veronica.

Veronica exhaled. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, I do."

"Okay. Then let's do this. Not everything has to be complicated, Vera. Some things can just be easy. And this? This seems pretty easy to me."

Veronica nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

Heather took Veronica's hand into her own and kissed it gently. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay for canon


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for heathers, abortion talk, and some hurt feelings toward the end :-(

"Veronica? Are you with me?"

Veronica's eye snapped back to the woman in front of her. "Yes. Sorry."

Dr. Lee frowned at her. "It's alright. What were you thinking about?"

Veronica sighed. "Oh, I don't know. Just... worrying about the future, I guess."

Dr. Lee nodded. "Well, that's what we're here to figure out."

It had been a month since Veronica had told her parents about her pregnancy. Since then, they'd upped her therapy sessions from twice a week to nearly every day. It had to be costing them a fortune, but Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer refused to give Veronica a number. Instead, she'd had to listen to them whisper-fight about the money every night, which certainly wasn't helping her stress levels. 

On the upside, Mac had been spending 90% of her time at the Sawyer's house. At first, Veronica had been reluctant to let her in - both figuratively and literally - but Mac was adamant in her feelings for Veronica, and gradually Veronica had had to concede that yes, her relationship with Mac was probably the best thing in her life right now. It also didn't hurt that Heather Chandler didn't like to appear while Mac was around, something that Veronica didn't fully understand but was grateful for nonetheless. 

Dr. Lee shifted in her therapist chair. "Veronica, have you thought about J.D. lately?"

Veronica scowled at the floor. "I'd rather not talk about that."

"You can't expect to get better if you refuse to talk about the things that are hurting you," Dr. Lee admonished. 

Veronica liked Dr. Lee, she really did. And she knew that her parents were paying the doctor extra to keep quiet about the little fact that Veronica had accidentally murdered four people - which was part of the problem. It was hard to open up to someone she knew was getting paid to talk to her. 

"Veronica."

Veronica bit her lip. "Fine. Yes, I've been thinking about him. I just... I loved him, you know? I know he was certifiably insane, but I did love him. And he tried to take advantage of that, yes, but I do know that he loved me back. He fucking - he _died_ for me."

Dr. Lee held up a finger. "Keep in mind, he created that bomb. If he hadn't, no one would have had to die at all. Don't make him into some kind of hero."

"Yeah, I know. But there's something to be said for him changing his mind, though, isn't there? For him, I don't know, recognizing how broken he was and allowing himself to die so that the less damaged people could go on living?"

Dr. Lee nodded. "Yes, I suppose. It was something of a noble final act. But we could debate about how good he was forever. What I need to know is how you feel about the whole thing."

Veronica began absently picking at a loose thread on the arm of her chair. "I just... I don't know how I'm supposed to try and move past him and everything that happened if his baby is growing inside of me."

Dr. Lee scribbled something down on her notepad. "Have you decided what to do with the baby?"

Veronica groaned and leaned back in her chair, placing a hand over her belly, which was just starting to show. "I don't know. I'm only seventeen, you know? I don't know anything yet. I still had plans for my life. And I'm certainly not mentally stable enough to care for a baby. Plus, money in my family is already running tight, based on my parents' midnight conversations. So adoption makes the most sense. But then..." she closed her eyes. "I felt them, the other day. I felt the baby move. And it make me realize, this is going to be a person. And I still have, like seven or eight months before they're born, and... how am I supposed to just let them leave with some other family?"

She opened her eyes and looked imploringly at Dr. Lee, as if the small, mousy woman could somehow provide a solution to all her problems. Dr. Lee tapped her pencil against her notepad thoughtfully.

"Veronica, have you reconsidered-"

"No." Veronica cut her off. "I can't."

"I just want to make sure you've really considered it. You're almost twelve weeks into pregnancy. After that, it will be much harder to-"

"I know." Veronica turned to face the window. "I know that. But I'm sure."

"Okay. And as for the adoption thing, you don't have to decide right now. And I know this is hard. No part of this is going to be easy. But that's what I'm here for."

Veronica flicked her gaze back to Dr. Lee. "Thanks."

Dr. Lee smiled. "You're welcome."

* * *

Heather Chandler appeared beside Veronica the moment she closed the door to Dr. Lee's office. 

"Veronica."

Veronica gave her a look. "Heather."

"I need to talk to you."

Veronica sighed and began making her way through the building, shoes clicking on the hard wood floor. "Make it quick. Mac's gonna be here in five minutes. Also, I look certifiably insane talking to an invisible person."

"Please, this is a shrink's office. You're the sanest person here."

"Your minutes are ticking away, Heather."

"Right. Have you told your doctor lady about me?"

Veronica side eyed her. "Which doctor lady? I've got a few."

"You know which one. The therapist lady."

Veronica held up a finger as she neared the lobby, waving to the receptionist before stepping out into the sunlight. "Okay. You were saying?"

"Have you told Dr. Lee that you see ghosts?"

"Pssh. No."

"Why not?"

Veronica raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, why not? I'd look like a crazy person."

Heather tutted disapprovingly. "You can't get better if you're not honest with her, Ronnie."

"Don't call me that."

"Mac does."

"You're not Mac. And since when do you care about my well-being?"

Heather frowned. "I'm not heartless, Veronica."

"Really? Because-"

"I know what I was like when I was alive," Heather interrupted. "But your analysis of me wasn't that far off."

"That wasn't an analysis. It was a lie. I made it up to fool the cops."

"Right. But what I'm trying to say-"

Veronica turned to fully face Heather Chandler. "Do you have anything important to say? Or are you just going to berate me for how I deal with my therapist and try to paint yourself as better than you are- were?"

Heather drew back, looking hurt. "I..."

Before she could finish, a bright yellow car pulled up next to the sidewalk.

"Mac's here," Veronica muttered.

Heather nodded, swallowing. "Right. Guess I'll just..." she faded out of view.

Veronica watched her go, knowing she'd just broken something between them but unsure of what or how to fix it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Our love is God, baby," JD hissed in Veronica's ear. "Come on. Say it with me." His voice was soft but menacing. "Say it with me," he giggled manically and danced around Veronica. She was locked in place, unable to do anything but watch. JD crept closer. "Say it!" Veronica tried to move away, but she couldn't. "Say it!" JD shrieked in her ear. She locked her lips firmly together, shaking her head miserably. "Veronica!" JD demanded. He grabbed her wrist, a possessive, angry gesture. Kurt and Ram appeared next to him. 

"Hey, Rrrrronicaaaa," they jeer. From somewhere deep in her subconscious, Heather Chandler's voice echoes in Veronica's ear. 

"Your life is over," Heather hisses. Veronica squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block everything out, but they all continued to taunt her. She tried to convince herself that this wasn't real, all of these people were dead, they couldn't hurt her...

"Ronnie?"

Mac's voice jerked Veronica awake. She sat up, panting heavily. "Mac..." she whispered, reaching for her girlfriend. Heather wrapped her arms around Veronica, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

"Shhh," she whispered, rubbing Veronica's shoulder gently. "It was just a dream, you're okay, everything is okay..."

Veronica clung to Mac, shaking. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mac placed a hand under Veronica's chin and tilted her face up to look at her. Veronica bit her lip, considering.

"Not really," she whispered after a long moment.

Mac's eyes searched her face for a long moment. Then she nodded. "Okay, baby." She kissed Veronica's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," Veronica said, ignoring the surge of guilt that swelled inside her as she said the words. She looked up at Mac, who seemed to know what she was thinking.

"Please don't say it," She whispered to Veronica, who shifted guiltily, averting her eyes.

"But you-"

"Don't. We've been over this."

Veronica sighed heavily. "I know, Mac, but you don't understand-"

"What part don't I understand?"

"I see fucking ghosts, Mac!" Veronica pulled away, shaking her head. "You deserve someone sane, someone who doesn't talk to people that aren't there."

Mac was quiet for a long moment. Veronica gazed sullenly at the wall, waiting for Mac to scream, cry, run away, do _something_ other than just sit there.

"Can you look at me, please?" Mac asked, breaking the silence. Veronica turned around and locked eyes with her, looking miserable. "Thank you." Mac scooted closer to Veronica and took her hand. "Now. Tell me more about these ghosts."

Veronica took a deep breath. "It's... the people I..."

Mac nodded. "You mean, like..." she lowered her voice. "Heather?"

"Yeah." Veronica leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes. Her hand automatically went to her stomach, which was getting bigger by the day. "Kurt and Ram, too."

"Okay," Mac mused, thinking this over. "Okay. And they... talk to you?"

Veronica nodded. "Mostly just Heather. Kurt and Ram usually just show up once in a while to taunt me and call me a slut, but Heather..." She opened her eyes. "Well, actually, I haven't seen Heather in a few weeks. Not since..."

"Since when?" Mac prompted gently. 

"Um. Like, three weeks ago, when I was leaving Dr. Lee's office, she showed up and insisted she needed to talk to me about something, but I was sort of in a bad mood and I yelled at her a little bit. Haven't seen her since."

"Interesting," Mac said softly, tone unreadable. "Vera... you don't think..."

"That they're real? I honestly have no idea." Veronica sighed. "I've tried asking Heather, but she won't give me a straight answer."

Mac nodded absently, staring intently off into space. 

"She said she's sorry, though," Veronica added after a pause. "For how she treated you. I mean, she's probably just a figment of my imagination, but..."

Mac gave herself a little shake. "Yeah, um, that's... good, I guess." She bit her lip. "Ronnie, have you told Dr. Lee about this?"

"No," Veronica admitted. "That's part of what I fought with Heather about, actually. I think she wants me to let her go." She paused. "God, I sound crazy, don't I?"

Mac shrugged. "Maybe a little. But everyone's crazy in their own way."

"You sound like my therapist."

"Your therapist is right."

Veronica considered this for a moment, then glanced at the clock. "It's late. You should probably go home soon."

Mac scowled. "I'd rather not."

"What's wrong with home?"

Mac opened her mouth, then closed it again. "Um. Nothing. It's just, I'd rather stay here with you."

Veronica wasn't convinced, but she was too tired to argue. "Well. Your parents are probably getting worried. You should at least call them."

"Fine," Mac sighed. "Can I use your phone?"

"'Course."

Mac padded out of the room, leaving Veronica to sit alone, wishing she was just a little less damaged.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for Heathers, aka depression

"Veronica."

Veronica jumped. "Jesus Christ, Heather, what the fuck?" She swiveled in her desk chair to face the ghost. "I'm doing homework, what do you want?"

Heather smirked. "I disappear for a month and that's the greeting I get?"

Veronica glared at her. "What. Do. You. Want."

Heather crossed to Veronica's desk and boosted herself onto it gracefully. "Still hostile, I see," she commented, kicking her legs.

"Shut up, Heather."

"God. Fine. Here I was thinking you'd be happy to see me, but clearly I was wrong."

Veronica sighed. "Sorry. Let me try again. Oh Heather, I've missed you so! How could you possibly leave me alone like that? My life is ever so meaningless without you!"

Heather raised an eyebrow. "You need so stop watching _The Princess Bride_ all the time."

"That's not- nevermind. What's going on?"

Heather tilted her head to the side. "You told Mac about me."

Veronica rolled her eyes. "A., you don't get to call her that, and b., so what if I did?"

Heather grinned devilishly. "Progress is progress, my dear Ronnie. Last time I talked to you you refused to tell anyone."

"Okay, whatever. Yay progress. Why'd you disappear on me?"

"You've been nothing but nasty to me for the past five minutes and you want to know why I didn't want to talk to you?"

Veronica gave her a look. "Okay, enough with the cattiness. And... yeah, okay, you're right. I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I guess we kinda switched roles for a while there."

Heather scowled. "Not funny."

"Sorry. I'm just tired, I guess. My life right now is..."

"I know!" Heather leapt excitedly off of the desk. "You're life is a shitshow!"

Veronica watched her, eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Yeah, it is. Why are you so happy about that?"

Heather turned to face her, grinning. "You told Heather about me. That's progress! That's, like, step one in you fixing the pathetic mess that your life has become!"

Veronica winced. "Don't love that phrasing, but alright. What's your point?"

Heather shrugged. "That's all. Just happy for you." She sat down on Veronica's bed, averting her eyes. Veronica squinted at her.

"You're lying."

Heather looked up in mock confusion. "Huh?"

"Don't play dumb. You're not happy for me. There's some other reason."

Heather sighed. "Veronica, we've been over this. I do care about you."

"While that may be the case, it's not the only reason you want me to get better." Veronica raised her eyebrows, waiting. Heather met her gaze, eyes steely. Veronica smiled and kept waiting.

"Ugh, fine." Heather sighed. "I think that... if I help you turn your life around and like, move on from me and Kurt and Ram, I get to... move on."

"Move on? Like..."

Heather shrugged. "I don't know. I just think that there's got to be something other than where I'm at right now, and I think helping you is the entrance ticket."

"So you are a ghost!" Veronica pointed accusingly at her. "I'm not crazy!"

She held up a hand. "Okay, for all you know you're making this entire conversation up, so don't jump to conclusions."

"I don't think my brain is sophisticated enough to make all this up."

"Well, can't argue with that."

Veronica sighed. "I kinda think you've got your work cut out for you here."

"I know. But you told Heather! That's a step in the right direction." 

"If you're a ghost, what's the point of telling people that I see you?"

"You're overthinking this."

"Am I?"

"It just feels like the right thing to do, okay?" Heather jumped up from the bed and began pacing. "If you tell people that you see me, that means that you're ready to move past me."

Veronica tracked her movements across the room. "I only told Mac because she deserves to know that she's dating a crazy person."

"Whatever. Don't deny me this victory."

"Shouldn't it be my victory? I feel like this whole thing won't really work if you're only doing it in your own interest."

Heather stopped pacing. "I'm not, Veronica. I've told you this. I-" she paused. "I know you think that I'm a bitch, and I am. Or, I was. But I want to be better. And with this I get the chance to."

Veronica gazed at her for a long moment, frowning. From somewhere else in the house, a door slammed.

"Ronnie? Are you here?" Mac's voice rang out sharply through the silence.

Veronica turned to Heather Chandler, smirking. "You want to prove that you're really changing?" Heather nodded emphatically. "Apologize to Mac."

"What?" Heather hissed, gliding swiftly over to stare directly into Veronica's face. "I can't!"

"Sure you can. If you're really a ghost, she'll be able to see you."

"Ronnie?"

"In here, babe!" Veronica called. Heather shot her a panicked glare. "You can do it," Veronica whispered, smiling evilly. "I believe in you."

The bedroom door swung open. "Vera, I-" Mac stopped short. Heather Chandler smiled awkwardly. "Ronnie?" Mac whispered. "Are you- is she?" she pointed helplessly at Chandler.

"I knew it," Veronica muttered. She stood, nodding encouragingly at Mac. "Yeah, I see her too."

"Is this what you meant? The other night?"

"Yeah. But you can see her too, which means I'm officially not crazy!" Veronica pumped a fist. "One for me!"

Both Heathers shot her a look. 

"Right. Sorry. Heather, I believe Heather has something to say to you." She raised an eyebrow at Chandler, who sighed resignedly.

"Yeah, um. Ma- Heather. I'm... sorry. For how I treated you when I was... alive. I was awful to you and you were never anything but nice to me. I should have treated you better. You didn't deserve a friend like me."

Mac stared incredulously at her. "Um. Right. Still trying to wrap my head around the dead girl in my girlfriend's bedroom, but. Yeah. I forgive you."

"Just like that?" Veronica scowled. "I thought this was gonna be more interesting."

"That's enough, Veronica," Chandler commanded sharply. Veronica rolled her eyes but fell silent. 

"I, uh." Mac was still looking a bit shell-shocked. "I mean. I've had a lot of time to think this over, so... yeah, I forgive you. I just- you're, like, a ghost?"

"It would appear so," Heather spread her arms wide, as if to say _here I am_.

"Okay. Okay," Mac took a deep breath.

"You okay?" Veronica wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders. 

"Yeah, just... processing." She glanced at Chandler. "Is there a reason you waited till now to show yourself to me?"

"Um." Chandler bit her lip. "I was... scared? I guess? I figured you probably didn't want to talk to me, so I decided to bug Veronica instead." 

Veronica raised an eyebrow. "That's solid logic," she said sarcastically.

"Well, I figured it'd be more fun to torment my murderer than my own victim."

"I didn't..." Veronica shook her head. "I didn't mean to..."

"Be nice, Heather," Mac said, wrapping a comforting arm around Veronica's waist. "Veronica is very sensitive about her murders."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, babe, it had to be said."

Chandler snorted. "This relationship dynamic is hilarious."

"Shut up, Heather."

"Sorry, Heather."

The Heathers smiled at each other. "Do you think I should apologize to Duke too?" Chandler asked. "I was kinda mean to her too."

Mac considered this. "Nah. She's a bitch too. And she's like, two thousand miles away right now."

"She is?" Chandler glanced at Veronica. "How did I miss that?"

Veronica shrugged. "You could talk to Martha, though."

Chandler made a face. "I barely know her."

"Yet you saw fit to use me to break her heart."

"Point taken. So, like, you want me to apologize to everyone I've ever hurt?"

Veronica winced. "Well, no. That's like, the entire student body of Westerburg. If the ghost of a dead girl started showing up everywhere, things could get out of hand really quickly. But Mac and Martha are a start."

Chandler nodded. "All I need is an ending."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter lowkey sucks im sorry i promise there's a plot hidden somewhere in this mess


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for referenced homophobia and heathers

Heather McNamara stood on Veronica's porch, yellow raincoat pulled up against the rain. She should have done this weeks ago, she knew. She'd just been so scared. Of what, she wasn't really sure. All she knew was that every time she'd thought about it, a sense of dread had pooled in her stomach, strong enough to stop her from doing anything. Water was streaming down her face, and at this point Heather couldn't tell whether it was rainwater or tears. Not that it mattered. She hadn't worn makeup in two weeks.

She was shaking, whether from cold or nerves she couldn't tell. Slowly, she raised her fist and banged on Veronica's front door. It was time.

* * *

Veronica opened the door. On the other side, Mac was shaking miserably, tears flowing freely down her face.

"Mac? What's wrong?"

Veronica ushered her girlfriend inside and onto the couch, tossing her a blanket. Mac took it, using a corner to wipe the wetness from her cheeks.

”Talk to me,” Veronica urged, taking one of Mac’s cold hands in her own.

”My parents...” Mac mumbled. “They... they found out that I’m... that we’re...”

Veronica’s eyes widened.

"Yeah,” Mac bit her lip. “They kicked me out.”

“They _what_?” Veronica frowned, indignant. “That’s not okay! They can’t just- we’re gonna go talk to them, okay? Come on.” She started to stand, but Mac pulled her back down onto the couch.

"Ronnie. No. The moment has passed.”

"What do you mean?”

"It happened two weeks ago,” Mac whispered shamefacedly. She picked at a thread on her skirt, and when Veronica didn't immediately respond, she glanced up, clearly expecting a bigger reaction.

Veronica was staring at her, concern evident on her features. "Mac..."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Mac pulled her hand our of Veronica's grip and stood. "I know I probably should have told you sooner, but you just already have so much on your plate, and I didn't want you to stress out more worrying about me. And I guess, maybe, I was a little scared that you _wouldn't_ worry. That you'd, I don't know, break up with me, get mad, and... I don't know. It's super irrational, but whatever. I was scared." She was pacing the room now, Veronica watching dazedly from the couch.

"Mac," Veronica held up a hand. "Please stop moving." Mac flopped back down onto the couch as Veronica pressed a hand to her belly, fighting a wave of nausea. "Okay," she said decisively when it passed. "Where have you been living?"

Mac bit her lip. "Remember that night, when I begged you to let me stay here with you?" She waited until Veronica nodded before continuing. "That was the day it happened. I'd just come from my- _their_ \- house. They had confronted me, said I'd been spending a lot of time with you, and they asked me- if- if-" her voice broke. "They just kept asking me, 'are you a dyke? Say you're not a dyke!' over and over, and I was too caught off guard to lie convincingly, so I just said yes. They gave me ten minutes to pack my things and get out. I didn't know where to go, so I came here, and then I guess I was too scared to tell you the truth, so I made up some dumb excuse. Ever since, I've been kind of splitting my time between here and Martha's - she doesn't know, she just asks less questions than you - and a couple of times I- I slept in my car."

Veronica's face softened. "Baby..." she reached for Mac and pulled her close. "That's terrible, I'm so sorry."

Mac allowed herself to relax into Veronica's embrace. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"Mac? Shut up."

"Okay."

They sat together for several long minutes, allowing themselves to feel each other's pain. Veronica stroked Mac's golden brown hair, staring off into space. All this time, she'd been so worried that Mac would get scared of all her damage and run screaming in the other direction. But now she was starting to realize that maybe this strange, yellow-clad girl was just as damaged as she was. 

"I love you, Ronnie," Mac murmured.

"I love you too, Mac." Veronica pressed a kiss to the top of her girlfriend's head. "Everything's gonna be okay. You can stay here. It'll get better. All of this." She gestured vaguely to the general mess that was their lives. 

"You don't know that."

Veronica smiled. "You sound like me."

"Guess you've rubbed off on me."

"Yeah, I guess so." Veronica sighed. "I know we're at rock bottom right now. But it can only get better from here."

Mac lifted her head off of Veronica's shoulder. "Or your parents decide that they can't support us and kick us both out, and we end up living on the streets selling our beautiful bodies for a can of beans."

"Speak for yourself, I'm getting fat now." 

"Still beautiful."

"We're gonna figure it out," Veronica squeezed Mac's shoulders. "As long as we have each other. Okay?"

"What ever happened to you being scared that I was gonna figure out how damaged you are and run away?"

"Well, everyone is damaged in their own way." Veronica smiled sadly. "I think I'm getting that now."

"Took you long enough."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

Veronica laughed, realizing as she did that she hadn't laughed in a while. "Yeah. I don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who caught the brooklyn 99 reference? ;-)))


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um hi it's been a minute hasn't it? i would say i didn't have time but like i've updated my groupchat fic like three times this week and written like five more cadnis oneshots bc lol but uhhh yeah sorry, i'm on winter break now tho so maybe i'll even like finish this? idk i'm not promising anything but,,, yeah enjoy this sucky chapter

"Babe."

Veronica rolled over in bed, grumbling something incoherent.

"Baby." Mac tugged gently on her shoulder. "Wake up."

"What do you want?" Veronica mumbled sleepily.

"It's your birthday! You gotta wake up."

Veronica opened one eye, frowning at her girlfriend. "I'd rather just sleep through it."

Mac pouted. "Why?"

Veronica gestured vaguely to her belly, like, _duh_. 

"Being pregnant doesn't give you an excuse to not celebrate your birthday."

"Kinda does though," Veronica opened her other eye. "My life is shit."

"Which makes having things to celebrate all the more important."

She was right, but Veronica wasn't about to tell her that. "What if we just lay here together all day?" she murmured, tracing a finger down Mac's arm. Mac relaxed into the touch a little bit, then realized what Veronica was doing and pulled away.

"Stop trying to trick me. You're gonna get up and your gonna have fun, whether you like it or not."

"That's not really how fun works."

"Ronnie."

"Mac."

"Come on, you've been sleeping for like twelve hours already."

"Can't I sleep for another twelve?"

"That's a coma, hon."

"Sounds festive." 

Mac rolled her eyes and tugged on Veronica's arm. "Up, up." Veronica reluctantly sat up. Mac pointed at the closet, which was overflowing with clothes now that they were sharing it. "Get dressed."

"None of my clothes fit me anymore."

"So wear some of mine."

Veronica eyed her quizzically. "Your clothes were too small for me before I was pregnant."

Mac sighed. "Fine. Keep wearing your dad's t-shirts. But we're going shopping for maternity wear later."

Veronica groaned. "No, Mac, please."

Mac folded her arms. "Okay, here's a new idea, how about I be the problem and you be the solution?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, you're right, sorry." Veronica held out her arms, and Mac eyed them for a minute before giving in and allowing Veronica to pull her close. Veronica kissed the top of her head. "I love you. I'll stop being difficult."

"I love you too," Mac murmured, taking a piece of Veronica's hair in her fingers and twirling it. They sat like that for a long moment, until Mac reluctantly pulled away. "Come on, let's go downstairs, your parents are making breakfast."

Veronica's stomach clenched at the thought of food, but she ignored it and followed Mac downstairs. Her dad was washing dishes and her mom was flipping pancakes at the stove. When she saw them she looked up and smiled.

"Hey, birthday girl! How are you today?"

"Alive," Veronica said, leaning heavily on the counter. Mac shot her a look, and she amended, "alive and _well_."

Her mom slid a plate of pancakes over to her, smiling wryly. "That's good. Happy eighteenth, baby."

"Thanks," Veronica muttered.

"Do you need any help, Mrs. Sawyer?" Mac asked sweetly. 

"No, no, honey, I've got it. And please, call my Sheryl. You're part of the family now."

Mac blushed. "Right. Thanks." Veronica smiled despite herself, knowing there was no way Mac was ever gonna use her parent's first names.

Mr. Sawyer turned from the sink, giving Veronica's shoulders a squeeze. "Happy Birthday, kid."

Veronica gave him a small smile and took a halfhearted bite of her pancakes. 

Her mom watched her carefully. "Speaking of birthdays... at some point we need to talk about the upcoming one." She nodded at Veronica's belly. Veronica swallowed her pancakes with some difficulty.

"Mom, I don't..."

"I know, baby. But we've only got a few more months before the baby comes. If adoption is what you want, we need to start the process soon. And if not..." she trailed off. "We'll still support you. But you need to decide soon."

Veronica pushed her plate away, whatever small appetite she'd had long gone. "I know. I'm gonna figure it out. But not today."

"Of course. Enjoy your birthday." Mrs. Sawyer took the plate away, and Veronica felt a wave of gratitude toward her for not making a big deal about it. "Do you girls have any plans today?"

Mac nodded. "I want to take Ronnie shopping for maternity wear, and we might meet up with Martha at some point."

"Sounds fun," Mr. Sawyer smiled at them. Veronica forced herself to smile back.

* * *

"Mac, do we really have to do this?" Veronica groaned, following her girlfriend as they made their way through the mall. 

"Yes, because your jacket looks like it's about to fucking burst. Plus, it'll be fun." 

"Will it?"

" _Yes_." Mac stopped and held out a hand. Veronica took it. "I know this isn't ideal. And you have every right to not be thrilled about your situation. But you can either mope around and feel sorry for yourself or make the most of it."

"Is that your philosophy for your situation too?" Veronica knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as the words left her mouth. Mac's face fell.

"Yes," she said quietly. "Is that so bad?"

"Mac..."

"No, it's fine." Mac shook her head. "Come on, let's go distract ourselves from the disasters our lives have become."

"Mac, I'm sorry."

"I _said_ it's fine."

Veronica knew it wasn't, but she didn't push it. But for the rest of the shopping trip, she kept her mouth firmly shut. When they met up with Martha and she squealed a happy birthday in Veronica's face, she didn't complain. When Mac dragged them to ten different stores looking for clothes for Veronica, she didn't mention how much her feet and back hurt. When they stopped for lunch, Veronica didn't mention the fact that nausea was still roiling around her gut.

Martha couldn't stay for very long, so once she left Mac suggested they just drive around for a bit. 

For a solid twenty minutes, neither of them spoke. Mac pretended to be extra focused on the road, and Veronica stared at the window, guilt building up until finally she couldn't take it anymore.

"Mac, about earlier-"

"I know." Mac kept her eyes firmly glued to the road.

"No, I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay, Ronnie." Mac sighed. "I just... I know this is hard for you. Just... try to keep it in perspective a little, okay? It could be much worse."

"Yeah, I know. I've been kind of a bitch."

"Understatement of the year," said a voice from the backseat. Mac and Veronica both jumped.

"Jesus Christ, Heather," Mac muttered, glaring at the ghost in the rearview mirror. "Give us some warning next time. I almost crashed."

"Sorry," Heather Chandler said, not looking very sorry at all. "So can we talk about why Veronica's being so bitchy?"

Mac raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you have a theory."

"Obviously."

"Shoot."

Chandler met Veronica's eyes in the mirror. "You're stressed, right? What your mom said earlier about deciding what to do with the baby put the pressure on."

Veronica sighed. "Yeah. As usual, you are exactly right. How is someone who is so mean also so insightful?"

"It's a talent," Heather said, shrugging.

Veronica snuck a look at Mac, who was watching the exchange with some blend of interest and concern. "I just..." Veronica sighed. "I don't know. There's so many pieces to it, you know?"

Heather frowned. "Okay. Let's play this out. What were your pre-baby plans for after graduation?"

Veronica chuckled darkly. "Well. I got accepted to Harvard Law, so I was gonna do that, become a lawyer, eventually settle down and raise a family. That was also before Mac, though." Mac nodded, smiling a little.

Chandler considered this. "Okay. So how would that change if you kept the baby?"

Veronica blew out a breath. "God, I don't know. I suppose I could still technically go to law school, if I had someone to take care of the baby at least part of the time. It would be hard, but I could do it. I'd also need a decent place to live, at least. I can't keep living with my parents. It's not fair to them. They deserve to enjoy retirement. I don't think that living in college dorms would fly with a baby, so I'd need an apartment or something. I have the money for that. I mean, it wouldn't be a great place, but I could eventually upgrade." She paused. "But... what about Mac?"

"What about me?"

"I mean, how do you play into all that?"

Mac shrugged. "I have some money saved. I could help pay for the apartment. And college has never really been a priority for me, so I could stay home with the baby when you need me too." She waved a hand. "I'm dead to my parents. I don't have anywhere to be."

Veronica frowned. "That's a lot of responsibility to dump on you, though."

Mac laughed. "Vera. When are you going to get this? I. Love. You. And honestly? That life may not be ideal, but it definitely doesn't sound terrible."

"Yeah," Veronica found herself saying incredulously. "Yeah, it actually doesn't." She had never actually considered the possibility that keeping the baby could not only work out, but actually be good.

Mac was grinning at her as she processed this. Veronica glanced over at her, smiling.

"Hey Mac?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna raise a baby with me?"

Mac slipped a hand into Veronica's. "I would love nothing more."

Heather Chandler grinned. "Now we're talking."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like the tiniest chapter in existence but whatever

"And now I'd like to welcome our valedictorian, Veronica Sawyer, up to the stage!" Principal Gowan gestured for Veronica to come up onstage, failing to hide a slight grimace. Veronica climbed the steps slowly, hand on her belly. As she crossed the stage, she watched parents whisper to each other. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could feel it. The same things that everyone at school had been saying for months now. _That's the Sawyer girl_ , they said. _The pregnant one. The depressed one. She was best friends with Heather Chandler. Shame, isn't it? So much wasted potential._

Veronica had learned to ignore them. To pretend that it didn't hurt. 

She reached the podium and forced a smile. "Thank you, Principal Gowan." She took a deep breath, catching sight of Mac in the audience. Heather Chandler's ghost stood off to the side, examining her nails. "Okay." Veronica gripped the podium tightly. "I know I don't look like the perfect student you all thought I'd be. I'm eighteen years old, and I'm pregnant." That elicited a gasp from the parents in the audience, as though it weren't utterly obvious. Veronica tried not to roll her eyes. "Yeah. Every parent's nightmare, right? But tell me, though, _why_ is it such a nightmare? There are solutions. I decided to keep the kid, but that doesn't mean I had to. So why is getting pregnant the number one thing that parents tell their daughters not to do?" Veronica smirked at Principal Gowan, who was looking more horrified with every word she said. "It's because of shame. Teenage pregnancies are associated with shame. Because it means that the daughter had sex, right? It means she didn't follow the good Christian values and save herself for marriage or whatever." Heather Chandler looked up from her nails long enough to give Veronica an approving nod, and Mac leaned forward in her seat, grinning. "Anyway, my point is this. I am valedictorian. That is every parent's dream, right? For their kid to be smart and special. I am also pregnant, which is the aforementioned parental nightmare. I can be both of those things. I got into Harvard, you guys! Yet all of you are judging me right now because of something that was not my fault. So I'm going to leave you with this; there is no 'type' of girl. There are no good girls and bad girls. We are people, and we are all fucking amazing." She grinned. "Have fun next year, you guys. You've earned it."

She walked off the stage to hesitant applause from the parents and whoops and cheers from the students. Principal Gowan returned to the podium, looking shaken. "Well. That was... different. Now let's hear it for our salutatorian..."

Veronica sat down beside Mac. "How'd I do?"

Mac smirked, eyes not leaving the stage. "Half the parents here want to murder you now, so I'd say pretty damn good."

"Way to go, Sawyer," Chandler murmured. She vanished just as Martha found her way over.

"That was great, Veronica!" She whispered, taking up the seat on Veronica's right. "Totally not what Principal Gowan wanted, but great."

Veronica smirked. "Well, he's not my principal anymore, is he?"

Mac grinned. "He has zero control over us."

"Do you guys wanna leave?" Veronica gestured to the stage, where a nervous looking kid was giving his salutatorian speech. "This is bullshit."

Martha glanced nervously over her shoulder at Veronica's parents, who were sitting a few rows back. "Your parents won't mind?"

"Nah. They're only here because my mom wanted to see the look on Principal Gowan's face when I gave my speech."

Mac laughed. "Your mom is awesome."

"Yeah," Veronica said softly. "She really is."

* * *

"Where are we even going?" Mac asked as Veronica pulled out of the parking lot. Veronica shrugged.

"Anywhere. Martha, where do you want to go?"

In the backseat, Martha shrugged. "I don't know. Starbucks?"

"Starbucks it is!" Veronica shouted. She punched a button on the car to roll down the windows. 

"What is with you today?" Mac called over the wind roaring in their ears. 

"I just fucking graduated high school, babyyy!" Veronica crowed. "I made it out! Why shouldn't I be happy?"

Mac didn't respond, just shook her head, chuckling. 

"Also," Veronica added, rolling the windows up again so that they could hear her, "I think I found us an apartment." Mac twisted to face her, surprised.

"Seriously? How?"

"Remember that trip my mom and I went on a couple weeks ago to tour Harvard?"

Mac raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Well, we also toured some apartments near there. And... we found one. It's tiny, but it's affordable, and it's walking distance from the school. And if you like it..." Veronica trailed off, shrugging. "It's ours."

Mac laughed incredulously. "Holy shit, Ronnie. Holy fucking shit."

"Language," Martha reprimanded quietly from the back seat. Mac rolled her eyes.

"Ronnie, do you have any idea how amazing that is?"

Veronica smiled. "Maybe?"

Mac grinned. "This is real, this is happening."

"Hell yeah it is." Veronica smirked as she pulled into the Starbucks drive-thru.


	10. Chapter 10

Janis Sawyer-McNamara was born on July 21st, 1999, at approximately nine o'clock at night. Her mother, Veronica had gone into labor early that morning and had been rushed to the hospital by her other mother, Heather McNamara. Throughout the day, Veronica refused to stop moaning about how much she hated a certain Jason Dean for doing this to her, and then in turn apologizing for cursing out someone who was already probably burning in hell ("the poor boy has brought enough ruin upon himself without you condemning him too", her girlfriend chided jokingly). Veronica's parents sat in a corner of the room, trying desperately not to fall asleep. It had been a long day - no, a long _year_. 

And then, at 9:04 pm, it was finally over. Veronica collapsed onto the hospital bed, breathing heavily, as a piercing cry filled the room. Mac squeezed Veronica's hand, smiling. 

"You did it," she whispered. "That's our girl."

Veronica's eyes were closed, but she smiled at Mac's words. "That's our girl," she murmured. 

The nurse wrapped tiny Janis in a blanket and passed her to Veronica, who took her baby gently in her arms, holding her in the way one holds something expensive and breakable. "Oh," Veronica whispered as Janis blinked up at her. Glancing over at her parents, she grinned. "Hey Grandma, Grandpa, get over here."

"Don't call us that," Mrs. Sawyer grumbled as she and her husband made her way over to their daughter. "Hello, little one," Mrs. Sawyer cooed, pressing a kiss to Janis's tiny head. "I'm going to spoil you rotten."

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you're gonna be the cool grandma, we've heard this spiel before."

"What did your mother _just say_ , Veronica?" Mr. Sawyer asked in mock annoyance. 

"That she's going to spoil my child?"

Mac snorted.

The door banged open, revealing Martha Dunnstock in all her glory. "I have food," she announced, holding up a greasy paper bag.

"Oh my God, I love you," Veronica passed Janis over to Mac and held out her hands. Martha grinned and tossed her the bag. 

"Can I hold her?" she said of Janis. Mac nodded and handed her over. "She's adorable," Martha breathed, giggling as Janis stuck out her tongue at her. 

"Of course she's adorable," Veronica scoffed, popping a french fry into her mouth. "She's my daughter."

"That she is," Martha agreed, handing Janis back to her mother. 

From a dark corner of the room, the ghost of Heather Chandler watched the scene unfold, unnoticed by anyone in the room. 

"We're almost done moving the boxes!" Veronica was saying. "It'll take us years to actually unpack them all, but the majority of them are in the apartment, which is the important part."

Heather C smiled at this. She'd seen the mess that was Veronica and Mac's new place. It was a disaster, but it was their disaster. Veronica had found a new therapist in Cambridge, and she was to start classes at Harvard in six weeks. Mac was searching for a job there, too, and Heather had no doubt that she would find one. Veronica had barely seemed to think about the ghosts in the past couple of weeks. Heather hadn't had an actual conversation with her in at least a month. 

Which was how Heather knew that Veronica didn't need her anymore. She had a life stretching out ahead of her, one that included Mac and Janis and new friends at college and most certainly didn't include ghosts that couldn't let go of their friends. Or murderers. But same difference, really. 

Heather watched Mac and Veronica gaze lovingly down at their daughter. They were happy. Heather's work here was done. She sighed sadly. 

"Goodbye, Veronica Sawyer," She whispered. Veronica glanced up, hearing her voice. She squinted at the darkened corner of the room, and for a split second she could have sworn that she saw a pair of checkered red stockings and a tight red jacket. But when she looked again, all that was there was a plastic chair, sitting innocently in the corner, a red scrunchie discarded on the seat. Veronica smiled to herself.

"Goodbye, Heather Chandler," she whispered back. And from somewhere in the universe, she could feel Heather smirking at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> epilogue? yes? no? i feel like this could be a good ending but if y'all want me to add a five years later chapter or something i will because i'm just that nice


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's your epilogue ;-)

**September 1st, 1994**

"Mama! Mama! Mama!" Janis jumped up and down, tugging on the hem of Mac's skirt. "Time to go! We gotta go, Mama!"

"Okay, okay, working on it," Mac gently removed Janis's little fingers from her skirt, smirking as Janis stuck her tongue out at her.

"She's more on time than you are," Veronica remarked from the other side of the room.

Mac rolled her eyes. "Don't you have a class to go to?"

"I'm already late. The damage is done."

"I thought lawyers were supposed to be punctual?"

"Yeah, well, I'm not a lawyer yet. Right now all I have to do is a shitload of homework."

Janis giggled. "Homework! Mommy has to do homework!"

Veronica frowned in mock annoyance. "Don't you mock me, young lady."

"Well, she is your daughter," Mac murmured. Janis turned back to Mac, who was trying in vain to finish her breakfast.

"Mama!" Janis folded her arms across her chest disapprovingly. "Gonna be late!"

"It's seven in the goddamned morning," Mac sighed. "I need my protein."

"Watch your fucking language," Veronica warned, slinging her bag over her shoulder and winking at Mac as she headed for the door. "Love you!"

"Love you more!" Mac shouted back angrily as the door closed with a click. Janis began tapping her toe against the floor impatiently, pretending to check an imaginary watch.

"Gonna be late," she singsonged. Mac rubbed a hand over her eyes.

"What if we just didn't?" she asked, half to Janis and half to herself. "What if you just missed the first day of kindergarten and I could go back to bed?"

Janis cocked her head to the side. "That's not allowed, Mama."

"Jesus Christ, you are turning into a mini Veronica."

Janis scowled. "No I'm not! I'm my own person! Respect me, Mama!"

"I think it's supposed to be the other way around, but alright."

Janis pointed to the door. "Car! Now! Gonna be late!"

Mac rolled her eyes. "Come here, you." She scooped Janis up in her arms, grabbing Janis's backpack as she did, and hurried out to the car. "Stupid car seat," Mac muttered as she fiddled with the straps. "You'd think these things would be intuitive, but no, to hell with easy."

"Watch your fucking language," Janis warned, kicking her legs delightedly. Mac eyed her in the rearview mirror as she backed out of the driveway. 

"Don't say that word at school, okay?"

"What word? 'Language'?" Mac gave her a look, and Janis giggled. "Just kidding!" They were both silent for a moment, then Janis began muttering to herself. "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck..."

"What are you doing?"

Janis glanced at her mother in the mirror, raising a tiny eyebrow as if it were obvious. "Getting them out of my system before school."

"Ah. Of course." Mac shook her head as she parked in front of the school. "Okay. Have fun, baby. Make lots of friends!"

Janis rolled her eyes, tossing her hair over her shoulder arrogantly. "Of course I'll make friends. I'm adorable."

Mac laughed. "Okay. Don't be a Heather Chandler, though." From somewhere in the universe, Mac could practically hear her dead friend launch into a rant about how she was different now or some bullshit like that. Janis nodded seriously, even though there was no possible way she knew what Mac was talking about.

"Bye Mama!" Janis waved to Mac as she unstrapped her seatbelt and hopped out of the car. Silently, Mac marveled at how easily Janis had been able to untangle herself from that monstrosity. Janis paused as she stepped out of the car, turning back around to make eye contact with her mom in the mirror. "I love you," she said quietly. 

Mac smiled. "Love you too, sweetheart."

Janis grinned and slammed the door shut. Mac watched her hurry into the building, only driving away when she saw the door close behind her daughter. Then, smiling to herself, she drove home. 

* * *

"How'd it go?" Veronica asked. Mac leaned against the counter, twisting the cord of the landline around her finger. 

"Oh, you know. It's Janis. She insisted on getting all the swearing out of her system, made a self-involved comment, then told me she loved me and ran off."

Veronica laughed. "That's my girl."

"Our girl."

"Yeah. Our girl." Veronica leaned against the wall where the school phone was, smiling to herself. "Sometimes I wonder why I stressed about this so much."

"Well. No one wants to get pregnant at seventeen."

"Mm. Yeah. But it worked out, didn't it?" Veronica gazed absently out at the quad. "We have a beautiful little girl."

"We do. And we're gonna make sure she has an easier go of it than we did."

"Yeah."

As the two women talked on the phone, their daughter was running around a playground at school only a few short miles away. As Janis sat down on a bench to catch her breath, a pretty blonde girl made her way over to her, stopping a few short feet away. Janis eyed her suspiciously. The girl smiled tightly, extending a hand.

"Hi. I'm Regina."

Janis scowled at her hand. What kind of five-year-old does handshakes? Janis gave her a low five instead. Regina looked surprised at this, but her smile grew a little bit, becoming more genuine. Her blue eyes crinkled at the corners, and Janis's little heart did a backflip.

"I'm Janis," she forced out. "Wanna be friends?"

Regina cocked her head to one side. No one had straight-up asked her this before. "Yes, Janis," she said after a moment. "I would love to be friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guys i did it i finished a multi-chapter fic!!! i mean it's not much of a multi-chapter fic but the thing says it is so


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